We’re halfway through the year, it seems that days went by so fast. Some of us feel like not having enough time to process everything we’re going through. Some days we feel okay, others not so much. But you have to remember, it’s okay to not be okay.
In this episode, we have another inspiring discussion about it’s okay to not be okay. Aimee shares that for the past couple of months, she’s not feeling good. A lot of things happened, she lost some loved ones and this puts her in a space where she felt not okay.
During these days, Aimee didn’t feel like herself. She didn’t feel motivated, excited, or happy to do the things that normally give her joy. These may be the result of creative burnout and unfortunate life events.
Aimee shares her story and journey towards acceptance that there will be days that we don’t feel okay, and we’re allowed to experience and learn from this.
WE DON’T TALK ABOUT NOT BEING OKAY
Have you noticed that we don’t talk about not being okay? It seems like a prohibited topic in our society. According to an article published by Psychology Today, there are various reasons why people are not encouraged to talk about what they need to express.
No one wants to talk about the hardships in life. We fear that this may only cause stress to the listener and additional anxiety to ourselves. But we have to accept that some days are not roses and butterflies.
We also have days when it’s enough to survive and make it until the end of the day. The good thing is that millennials and Generation Xs are setting a good example that it’s okay to talk about our bad days.
This act inspires the younger generation to acknowledge and accept not feeling okay. They see this as the norm and might continue doing it for future generations.
“Some days, it's not roses. Some days it's just molasses.” #chasingdreams
IT’S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY
It’s normal to not feel okay, to realize that not everything goes according to our plans. We all go through this phase and some may experience not being okay for the most part of the year.
Some people may think that they are not allowed to not feel okay because other humans depend on them. The classic example of this is being a parent. Parents think that it’s against the law to feel worried, out of place, confused, and so much more. because their kids look up to them.
This brings up too much pressure to feel okay despite having a raging fire inside that signals they don’t feel good. When parents do this, they build a notion that it’s undesirable to not have everything handled. And children may carry this belief until adulthood. They may think that not being okay means there is something wrong with me.
What we stand for today impacts the future. Our goal is to bring more awareness to mental suffering so that the kids of tomorrow feel encouraged and supported with their struggles.
The suicide rates for young people (teens and young adults) are the highest according to the article from UCLA Health. This may involve various factors, but it’s also related to not feeling okay and not having the courage or the willingness to talk about it.
We need to take the initiative to show people that it’s completely fine to not feel good all the time. This way we normalize the conversation with our kids, friends, and family about mental health.
This also causes a ripple effect so when a certain member of our family is having mental health struggles, he/she knows that you can help.
“It's okay to not be okay.” #chasing dreams
“We all go through a period where we're not okay.
“Even the protectors need to be taken care of.”
THE NEED FOR MENTAL HEALTH DAYS
Wouldn’t it be better if we have additional days when we can just take care of ourselves? This should be on top of our vacation leaves and sick days, not in replacement.
For the longest time, our sick leaves are only used for being physically sick. Our mental health is not considered as important as our physical health.
In a post by Verywell mind, they’ve outlined the states in the US where students are allowed to miss class for the benefit of their mental health.
This policy will also be beneficial for workers across various industries. There are days when going to work brings too much stress that we just need a day off.
WHAT CAN YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE NOT OKAY
Do you want to know what you can do when you’re not feeling okay? The first step is to acknowledge it. Say out loud, “It’s okay to not be okay!”
Upon doing this, you move to the next step which is understanding that this too shall pass. This feeling won’t last forever. Although some feelings may last a little bit longer than others, you need to remind yourself that you will get through this eventually. It may not be easy, but you can do it.
The third step is you have to help yourself move out of that space. Think about the triggers that make you feel not okay and what can you do about it? Sometimes, we may not realize that we have toxic people in our lives that trigger negative emotions.
These can be people who are extremely close to us that we’re scared of breaking ties. You might need a little inspirational quote in your life so here goes, “IT’S OKAY TO LET GO OF TOXIC PEOPLE ESPECIALLY THE ONES THAT ARE HURTING YOU.”
These toxic people often impact you and the people around you. We’ve always been taught to honor our family no matter how hostile and discouraging they are. But in this day and age, we should not be tolerating people who bring destructive thoughts and emotions even if they are family members.
Also, you have to realize that you can get help. An amazing personal investment is taking the time to see a therapist that can help with what you’re going through. If you don’t know where to start, Aimee’s advice is to start with your doctor and tell him/her that you need help with your mental health.
You can also talk to your insurance company, and surely they can refer you to a therapist. Another way is to talk to members of the family (those who are not toxic) who’ve been through the same scenario and ask how they overcome it.
Number four is you have to take action. Work on getting better and out of the space of not being okay. Take the time that you need to heal. Figure out what works for you and focus on that.
“You can do hard things, and you can get through this.” #chasingdreams
“You can let go of toxic people especially if it's hurting you.” #chasingdreams
“That feeling of not being okay won't last forever.”
“It may not be easy, but you can do it.”
“You have to look into yourself, take some time and figure out what is it that's bothering you.”
Aimee’s Recommendation: ONE action for a dream chaser to take –
Keep in mind that you have to live your life. Identify what it is for you. It’s okay not to be okay, but you have to figure out how you can help yourself to live your best life.
OUTLINE OF THE EPISODE
- [00:35] Why things have not been great for Aimee lately
- [01:20] We don’t talk about not being okay
- [02:13] It’s okay not to be okay
- [06:50] The need for mental health days
- [07:59] What can you do when you’re not okay
- Chasing Dreams Podcast Ep 257: Aimee J – You Can Do Hard Things
- “We all go through a period where we're not okay.”
- “Even the protectors need to be taken care of.”
- “That feeling of not being okay won't last forever.”
- “It may not be easy, but you can do it.”
- “It's okay to let go of toxic people.”
- “You have to look into yourself, take some time and figure out what is it that's bothering you.”
- “If you don't know where to start, start with your doctor and say you need help with your mental health.”
- “You are awesome, loved, and needed. Most importantly, you are enough just the way you are, no ifs or buts about it.”
- Sometimes it's important to remember that everything is made up.
TWEETS YOU CAN USE
- “Some days, it's not roses. Some days it's just molasses.” #chasingdreams
- “It's okay to not be okay.” #chasing dreams
- “You are the hero and the star of your life story, but you too need to be cared for.” #chasingdreams
- “You can do hard things, and you can get through this.” #chasingdreams
- “You can let go of toxic people especially if it's hurting you.” #chasingdreams
- “You can do anything you set your mind to.” #chasingdreams